…..compassion needed…..

So, here I am again,  exploring my soul and writing…..

I had an argument with my best friend yesterday, he doesn’t understand how he is…..that he is missing in action….he is just angry at me for saying what I say about how things have changed between us…..to his mind, nothing has changed….but in fact when I rang him last week to share my feelings on something….he got overwhelmed and blamed me…..and did so for several days….causing me to feel confused and wondering whats what….

I know my good friend really well….to begin with years ago we were in a relationship….I loved him deeply….we were good together and then he started working…..he became, distant, aloof, not talking atall…..moody and irritable….and of course this caused all sorts of problems….  We have come a long way since then…..we are no longer lovers….just friends….

Having battled over the years he now realises he is a loner and cannot commit to another human…..he has to be free……which at times has torn my heart out…..!!! But we have come through it all and are still good friends, but know there are ‘limits’ for us both, as now im not willing to have an intimate relationship with someone because it is too demanding in all manner of ways and yes I know, it has wonderful upsides too….but I am too sick to give all that a committed intimate relationships needs….

So, here we are…….limping along….dragging historical baggage along with us…..and I know that now he is working hard….he cannot give the care and attention to me/us that that he gives to growing his veg and the work and commitment and attention that needs…..and that is a fact….!




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